What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
