we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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