The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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