yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
