So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
