discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
