Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
