he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If that was your dad, he is hot
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
