yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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