Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
