the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
