Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
