Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
