Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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