Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
