yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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