I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
