I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
