like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize