Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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