we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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