I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
