Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh god it's open bar.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
