But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
