Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
