I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
