He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am mentally ready for anal.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
