how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
