After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
