You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
