I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
