im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
