Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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