I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
