Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
