The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
