no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
