i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
