I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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