i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
