We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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