did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
