my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
