Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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