I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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