if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Someone signed my nipple.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
