she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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