my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
