are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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