Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
